Homesickness

Rob and I talk A LOT about how much we miss Alabama. Its funny because when we lived there we would always talk about how much we wanted to move "home" to Ohio. I guess things changed so gradually over time that we didn't realize that Mobile actually was our home. Every time I start feeling sad about our decision to move I look at old pictures on the computer and it just makes it worse. I really need to stop doing that to myself.

Living in Mobile was hard. We were all on our own. Twelve hours away from our family. Nobody except a few friends to help us. But we didn't realize how great it was also. We did our own thing. Nobody else's expectations. I used to get annoyed that the weather was almost always warm and Christmas time never felt like Christmas. But guess what? Now I miss it. I suppose being stuck inside for months with 2 energetic little boys and a newborn will do that to you.

Looking through old pictures I realize just how much I miss our old house. It was small. We were outgrowing it. Especially now with 3 kids we'd be bursting at the seams. But still I miss it. Rob and I put so much work into it. Not just the normal stuff like paint either. Rob laid hardwood floors and new tile. We installed crown molding, wainscoting, beadboard,  board and batten. We made it cute. I miss how in the evenings sun would stream through the back windows. I miss our old backyard. It was so small. But I spent countless hours out there alone with Brady and then Carson when Rob was at work. And then when Rob was home from work he spent even more time out there chasing Brady and Frank around.

I miss so much more. Going to the beach, our old church. The park. Bible study friends, exercise friends. Good food. Grocery shopping at Target as an excuse to go there 4 times a week! Our life was so much simpler then. And to be honest I'm not sure if what I miss most is Mobile itself or just our simple life that we had. It seems like everything is so much more complicated and messy up here.

We have talked a lot about moving back. Rob tells me at least twice a week that he's ready to leave whenever I am. But I don't think I could leave here. Could I? I feel so guilty. Guilt over leaving my family, who has been such a help to us over the past year. Guilt that the boys LOVE and ADORE their Grandma and Grandpa and cousin Macy so much. We live in a house twice the size of our old one. In a  GREAT neighborhood. We can walk to the park and to our kids future school. We are surrounded by 3 other great families with stay at home moms like myself who have all become wonderful friends. Cincinnati is a much larger city with so many more things to do. Culture and recreation and more activities to be involved in. It's just what I wanted. Or so I thought. Why would we ever want to move back to Mobile and be on our own again? Especially now that we have 3 kids instead of just one or two.

I think I'm going through some funk right now. Sometimes when I get up to nurse Eleanor in the middle of the night these thoughts consume me and I have such a hard time falling back to sleep. We are planning a trip back to visit at the end of March to check on our house. I'm pretty sure I am going to burst into tears when we walk in it and I see someone else's stuff in there. I don't even know how to process those thoughts.

"Daddy's Home!"

These pictures are horrible in quality, but these are the kinds of moments I want to record. When the boys (and Frank) hear the garage door go up everyone runs to the door to greet Daddy and total (happy) chaos ensues. The air is thick with excitement after a long day. Rob peels off his shirt and tie and is just as excited to spend time with this sweet little family of ours. The boys run around in circles then climb all over him. There's even a little "talking" on your sippy cup. Eleanor just watches in amazement. I love this time of day!

My Daughter

My heart has been overflowing with gratitude lately. Especially for this little lady. I have a really hard time even putting into words how thankful I am. Not only to have a healthy, beautiful GIRL after 2 rambunctious (but equally fun) boys, but she's also an amazingly easy baby. I feel so blessed.

I been debating a lot lately over this little blog of mine. Months go by between each post. I am so busy with life and little ones now. Most days I feel like I can barely keep my head above water. I'm sure my friends think I'm a terrible person for never responding to texts or facebook messages. This blog started as a way for me to try and keep up with some memories and to keep in touch with long distance family and friends. And now that we live in the same town as most of our family it kind of seems silly to post anything. But then I think "why not"? Why not a post here or there, even if months do go by between updates. I still enjoy looking back over old pictures and events, even if they are sporadic. I don't have to blog for anyone else (I'm sure only 2 people will even check this anyway!) I want to post things simply for my own memory and enjoyment. And on my own time schedule. So, I think that's what I will do! And I'm not going to allow myself to apologize for it or feel guilty! I've started doing a Project Life Album for our family and I'm trying to keep up with writing letters to each of the kids. But I think it would be really fun to also have blog entries to print out and include in those memory books and journals. I would enjoy it and hopefully they will enjoy looking back at these memories as well.

7.8.12

This boy keeps me on my toes.

Not a whole lot going on today. Rob's working. I took the boys to church this morning. We stopped by Starbucks on the way home - nastiest.white mocha.ever. The barista must have been new. Blegh. 

Brady can't nap. And he's doing a very poor job at staying in his room for "quiet time". I'm doing a remarkable job at keeping my cool today though. Although he's just woken Carson up from his nap by his loudness - hopefully he will go back to sleep. Otherwise looks like an early bedtime for them tonight!

7.7.12

Brady with his Play-Doh creation

Look at my big boy! He looks so grown up to me in this picture. Still looking a lot like my dad but more and more like Rob every day. Rob is working this weekend, which I detest, plus temperatures above 100 for the past few days have been leaving us finding lots of indoor activities. This morning was play-doh. Then mom volunteered to come to the pool with me this afternoon to help wrangle the kids. Otherwise I wouldn't have attempted it. I don't mind taking the kids by myself - except I want to melt in this heat. And when I'm constantly having to hover over Carson to make sure he doesn't walk over the edge of the pool or eat rocks or the most common is picking him up each time he falls on his face in the baby pool, it's just plain a lot of work to do by yourself. Add to it that I'm 30 weeks pregnant it's really not much fun for mama! So thank you mom for coming with us!

I am finally starting to buy some things for baby girl. Yesterday the boys and I went to Babies R Us and scored the Sit N'Stand stroller I wanted, plus it was on sale for $104! I am so glad I researched these puppies, because I was ready to plop down more than double that amount for a different brand. Today I ordered her a crib from Amazon. I was really not wanting to buy another crib and just use the expensive one both Brady and Carson have used, but I've finally realized that Rob is probably right and we are going to NEED another one since Carson will still be using ours for (hopefully) a long while after she is born. Plus the one I ordered is cheap enough that I can paint it a fun color and not worry about "ruining" an expensive piece of furniture. I'm thinking I'll either go with a soft pink, grey, or mint green color. 

I also bought her two of the cutest tiny cardigans from the clearance rack of Janie and Jack the other day. I'm thinking I will need to get them monogrammed with her initial. And I do believe the Janie and Jack clearance rack is my new favorite place to shop for the kids. I scored some great deals for Brady and Carson as well - including some winter/Christmas items for super cheap!

Motherhood and life in general has been so tough on me these past couple of weeks. I have really been struggling with the boys - especially Brady - lately. He has been having some major behavior issues and we think we have finally figured out the issue - he needs more "Brady and Mama time". I have felt like such a failure thinking about this. Ever since Carson was born Brady has had to share me with him. And while Brady has done so well in this area, Carson is now walking, talking and playing with all of the toys which formerly used to only be Brady's. Plus Carson is still extremely clingy and needy and requires a lot of attention from me. I asked Brady the other day if he felt left out and he replied "you never spend any time with me". Break.my.heart. So I have been trying my hardest to spend more one on one time with just him and even when Carson is around to give Brady more praise and focused attention - no matter how uncomfortable I am crawling around on the floor with him in my current state!

These problems, plus the heat, plus still dealing with trying to get this house organized from moving (and feeling like it will never get decorated - if I can even figure out HOW I want to decorate it), plus getting ready for the arrival of baby girl, plus the constant toy clutter, and never ending laundry, and my humongous belly, plus more family drama from Rob's side have made me stressed to the max. On top of it Rob hasn't been around as much as usual because he's been working a lot of OT (which I am thankful for) and Brady's daily nap has become very unpredictable - many days it is nonexistent, so I feel like I have not had any time alone to actually accomplish anything that needs to be done. I really shouldn't complain. I have so much more to be thankful for, but these past few weeks have been absolutely exhausting and stressful and I am craving a kid-free vacation, which I know is not likely to happen for a few more years! I told Rob a while ago that we need to start planning and saving to take a nice trip in 2 years from now for our 10 year anniversary. At this rate of busyness it probably will take 2 whole years to research and plan!

Randomness

This post is going to be all over the place......

I am so excited for the pool that we joined this year to open up. Last night they had a get together for new members and Sarah and Addison went with me because their family is already members and Rob had to work and I didn't want to go by myself. It opens this weekend!

I am also so excited for the Nicholson's to come visit this weekend. Hopefully the children all behave and we don't tire ourselves out too quickly because we are hoping to do quite a lot (Golf for the men, Red's game, Pool, Kings Island).

I'm addicted to Amazon. I've got 97 books on my wishlist and can't ever find the time to read. I ordered these 2 last night.

That second one is a little old school, but it was recommended by another blog that I read and got great reviews. So we will see. 

Last week I finally finished putting together our 2009 photo book. Yes, I said 2009. And it is now 2012. I'm terrible about actually printing pictures, but I'm trying to be better about the whole "memory keeper" part of my job description as a SAHM. Anyway I ordered it from Apple (I read in some photography magazine at the library a long time ago that their quality was excellent). And since I already use Aperture 3 to organize and do a lot of photo editing it was very simple. But I have so many pictures that I had to have 2 books made for the year because they wouldn't all fit into 1. I have both books made on the computer, but only ordered one of them to double check the quality first - since my books are so large they're kind of expensive.

On the same "memory keeping" note I'm thinking of trying out Becky Higgens Project 365 for the kids. I really don't like "themey" things, but something has got to be better than nothing right? And her kits make everything extremely easy to use. They are out of stock on Amazon right now, but her website says they will be available again in late May (should be soon I'm assuming!) We shall see.

I've also been loving instagram lately. Just one more way for me to capture those memories!

That's all for now - Carson just woke up from his nap screaming!

A Great Weekend

A few nights ago I mentioned to Rob that I really needed to start blogging again, even though he used to pick on me for my silly little hobby. But this time he actually encouraged me! I've been thinking a lot lately about how fast time is flying by and I'm not doing anything except taking pictures (and never printing them). And since I'm not a big scrapbook or photo album person this blog is really the only documentation I will have of these years with out young family!

This past weekend was so great for us. I actually didn't take many pictures at all because I didn't want to haul my camera with me everywhere, but I wanted to write down what I remember so I can look back on it years from now. Friday afternoon Rob got home early and we spent that evening at our good friends, Jack and Sarah's, house. Brady had a ton of fun playing with their daughter, Addison. They rode around the yard in her Barbie jeep and swam in the hot tub after dinner. Rob and I have always said that we would never buy a motorized vehicle toy for our children, but after watching Brady's face light up every time he set foot in that jeep we may have to reconsider!

Saturday morning started out slow and I was becoming annoyed with Rob for "dilly dallying" all morning - something he regularly accuses me of! After lunch though we set off for the bike trail in historic Loveland. We brought Brady's new bike along with us and Rob and I rented bikes from Montgomery Cyclery as well as a trailer for Carson to ride in. We rode about 3 miles in one direction then turned around and headed back towards town. Brady was loving being able to ride so fast without having to constantly stop to cross the streets in our neighborhood. He got going a little too fast though and fell off his bike on our ride back. I thought for sure he was done for, but we eventually got him calmed down and he was excited to finish his ride. When we got back to town he played on the playground for a short while and then we headed to one of the sidewalk cafe's for a snack. While we were eating we ran into Jack and Sarah again who were riding on the trail too. Since Rob and I had rented our bikes for 3 hours and we still had a little time left we put Brady's bike back in Rob's truck and put him in the bike trailer with Carson and we headed off in the other direction on the trail. Brady was doing a great job on the trail, but I was stressing out a little every time another person would pass us. Some people ride super fast and I was so scared Brady would drift a little too far over into the other lane and get hit. With him in the trailer though Rob and I were able to ride faster and not worry about the kids. I think he enjoyed the break too. After our ride we turned our bikes in and headed to the Loveland Dairy Whip for some ice cream. Brady was so cute sitting on the picnic bench covered in sweat and dirt with sticky ice cream hands and face - just what a little boy should be!

{Carson at Costco}

Sunday morning we got up early and headed to church - we adore the new church we have found up here. It reminds us so much of our old church in Mobile. While there Rob ran into an old friend of his which was nice to see. After that we went to Costco and spent entirely too much money (as usual). That evening we did our first "family movie night". I use that term loosely because we put Carson to bed first and Rob and I both crashed on the couch by 9:45. Brady woke us up when the movie (Cars) went off at 10:30. Brady was so excited all afternoon though. He kept talking about us having a pajama party (and insisted that we all had to have ours on) and how we were going to "eat snacks, listen to music, drink milk, and watch a movie".

We are going to have another exciting weekend coming up - the Nicholson's are visiting! We haven't seen them since we left Mobile in December. Brady is very excited to see "No No" and show him his new neighborhood.