Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Message From Frank

Hello, mom's friends. My name is Frank and I don't get a lot of attention anymore. A new person has come to live at my house and I've been getting ignored and yelled at a lot lately. Mom and Dad always apologize, but my feelings still get hurt. I thought I would take the opportunity to steal the limelight for a moment to make myself feel better. 

My buddy Jackson invited me to list 6 random facts about myself. I understand Jackson gets in trouble a lot also. His mommy is Britni, who is also one of my mom's friends. 

First here are the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog. 
3. Share 6 non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag 6 random people by linking to their blog at the end of this post.
5. Let each random person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. 

Here goes:

1. I know English, seriously. Don't ever ask me if I "wanna go" anywhere or mention anything about food, dinner, treat, snack, etc. unless you're serious. In fact don't even tell me YOU'RE gonna go" somewhere unless you plan on taking me with you.

2. I can also read body language. When mom is going to take me to the park, I know exactly where we are going as soon as she starts to get dressed, even without her saying a word to me. Sometimes she is cruel and goes to the gym instead, allowing me to get excited for no reason. I'll cry at the door when she leaves because I think she went to the park without me. 

3. I have to get my butt squeezed about once a month. It's really pretty gross, but kinda fun to talk about. A couple of times mom and dad didn't take me soon enough and I left them presents on the couch and their bed. Fun times!

4. Mom and dad like to torture me by dressing me up in silly costumes, make me sit still, and then point, laugh and take pictures of me. It's no wonder I don't have a girlfriend....or maybe it's because they had my balls chopped off?

5. I've got mom and dad wrapped around my paw. They let me sleep with them every night even though mom really doesn't want me in bed with her anymore, but I know she'll feel guilty if she kicks me out. And since she stopped giving me enough love when my baby brother came home from the hospital I know she'll never take away my bed privileges. 

6. I love to eat mom's underware. It's my dirty little secret. But I'll only eat them when they're dirty. I don't care about dad's undies or mom's clean undies. I also love socks and dirty burp cloths, but nothing beats a nice pair of undies. Mom has had to buy an entire new underware wardrobe since I came into her life. And then I make her go out back and pick up piles of poo with colorful pieces of cotton in it. 

Since I'm a lonely and unloved dog, I don't have many friends. So I will only tag my buddy Zippy at the Wonderful World of Wessel. I would tag my best friend and cousin George, but his mommy doesn't have a blog...maybe she should start one? 


Sarah said...

I haven't laughed like this for a long time!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Cousin Frank - My mommy read your blog to me and I howled my head off !!! Your life isn't so bad. At least you get to sleep in their bed everynight but I have to wait until my Daddy is out of town. Maybe when my Mom comes to see you your Mom she can show her how to get a BLOG. Then we can talk to each other. Have a Merry Christmas. I'm sending you lots of Labby kisses. From your Labradorable cousin George.